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Correct punctuation for showing a character's confusion



The 2019 Stack Overflow Developer Survey Results Are InPunctuation-Quote or Quote-Punctuation?Background speech with foreground dialogueIs there a standard for dealing with lyrics in dialogue and narration in creative writing?What is the correct casing for a character's title?Do you bold punctuation directly after bold text?Which one is the correct dialogue punctuation format?Punctuation help needed — first-time novelistCorrect punctuation for he said, she saidCapitalisation after punctuation in dialogueTrying to figure out the correct type punctuation for dialogues










3















I'm trying to show that the narration (third person limited) is being interrupted by the character's thought process, and I'm not sure what punctuation is best for this situation.



So far, I've tried two approaches: dashes and parentheses. I'm not a huge fan of either. Is there a better way? Alternatively, is there a rule about which mark to use?



Here's an example:



1. Single Dash: The demon - she? He? gestured towards the supply wagons.



2. Parentheses: The demon (she? He?) gestured towards the supply wagons.



(The MC is meeting a pack of demons for the first time. She's not sure how to tell the two genders apart.)










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  • Please enter your question on our weekly challenge. It qualifies. writing.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/1965/…

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    58 mins ago















3















I'm trying to show that the narration (third person limited) is being interrupted by the character's thought process, and I'm not sure what punctuation is best for this situation.



So far, I've tried two approaches: dashes and parentheses. I'm not a huge fan of either. Is there a better way? Alternatively, is there a rule about which mark to use?



Here's an example:



1. Single Dash: The demon - she? He? gestured towards the supply wagons.



2. Parentheses: The demon (she? He?) gestured towards the supply wagons.



(The MC is meeting a pack of demons for the first time. She's not sure how to tell the two genders apart.)










share|improve this question






















  • Please enter your question on our weekly challenge. It qualifies. writing.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/1965/…

    – Cyn
    58 mins ago













3












3








3








I'm trying to show that the narration (third person limited) is being interrupted by the character's thought process, and I'm not sure what punctuation is best for this situation.



So far, I've tried two approaches: dashes and parentheses. I'm not a huge fan of either. Is there a better way? Alternatively, is there a rule about which mark to use?



Here's an example:



1. Single Dash: The demon - she? He? gestured towards the supply wagons.



2. Parentheses: The demon (she? He?) gestured towards the supply wagons.



(The MC is meeting a pack of demons for the first time. She's not sure how to tell the two genders apart.)










share|improve this question














I'm trying to show that the narration (third person limited) is being interrupted by the character's thought process, and I'm not sure what punctuation is best for this situation.



So far, I've tried two approaches: dashes and parentheses. I'm not a huge fan of either. Is there a better way? Alternatively, is there a rule about which mark to use?



Here's an example:



1. Single Dash: The demon - she? He? gestured towards the supply wagons.



2. Parentheses: The demon (she? He?) gestured towards the supply wagons.



(The MC is meeting a pack of demons for the first time. She's not sure how to tell the two genders apart.)







style formatting punctuation






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asked 1 hour ago









Evil SparrowEvil Sparrow

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  • Please enter your question on our weekly challenge. It qualifies. writing.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/1965/…

    – Cyn
    58 mins ago

















  • Please enter your question on our weekly challenge. It qualifies. writing.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/1965/…

    – Cyn
    58 mins ago
















Please enter your question on our weekly challenge. It qualifies. writing.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/1965/…

– Cyn
58 mins ago





Please enter your question on our weekly challenge. It qualifies. writing.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/1965/…

– Cyn
58 mins ago










2 Answers
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2














Behold! The Mighty Ellipses!




The demon...she? he?...gestured towards the supply wagons.




Ultimately, it's a matter of personal style. Dashes, parentheses, ellipses are all correct.



Part of the reason I prefer ellipses here is, as Amadeus points out, the gender ponderings aren't really an interruption. It's an aside. The narrator's mind is wandering. Ellipses are great for that as they tend to indicate a pause in addition to a change of course.



Dashes also work great for asides, but don't indicate the same level of pause. Note: use a full sized dash (aka a double or em dash) and not a hyphen. Hyphens have other purposes.



Parentheses are okay, especially since you have the question marks to make it clear, but wouldn't be the choice that helps the reader with the flow and rhythm of the sentence.






share|improve this answer






























    0














    I use a double-dash, and specifically a double-dash (not an em dash), on both sides of the interruption.




    The demon -- he? she? -- gestured toward the supply wagons.




    Although in your example, the interruption doesn't make sense; it would not make sense to say "The demon she gestured toward the supply wagons."






    share|improve this answer























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      2 Answers
      2






      active

      oldest

      votes








      2 Answers
      2






      active

      oldest

      votes









      active

      oldest

      votes






      active

      oldest

      votes









      2














      Behold! The Mighty Ellipses!




      The demon...she? he?...gestured towards the supply wagons.




      Ultimately, it's a matter of personal style. Dashes, parentheses, ellipses are all correct.



      Part of the reason I prefer ellipses here is, as Amadeus points out, the gender ponderings aren't really an interruption. It's an aside. The narrator's mind is wandering. Ellipses are great for that as they tend to indicate a pause in addition to a change of course.



      Dashes also work great for asides, but don't indicate the same level of pause. Note: use a full sized dash (aka a double or em dash) and not a hyphen. Hyphens have other purposes.



      Parentheses are okay, especially since you have the question marks to make it clear, but wouldn't be the choice that helps the reader with the flow and rhythm of the sentence.






      share|improve this answer



























        2














        Behold! The Mighty Ellipses!




        The demon...she? he?...gestured towards the supply wagons.




        Ultimately, it's a matter of personal style. Dashes, parentheses, ellipses are all correct.



        Part of the reason I prefer ellipses here is, as Amadeus points out, the gender ponderings aren't really an interruption. It's an aside. The narrator's mind is wandering. Ellipses are great for that as they tend to indicate a pause in addition to a change of course.



        Dashes also work great for asides, but don't indicate the same level of pause. Note: use a full sized dash (aka a double or em dash) and not a hyphen. Hyphens have other purposes.



        Parentheses are okay, especially since you have the question marks to make it clear, but wouldn't be the choice that helps the reader with the flow and rhythm of the sentence.






        share|improve this answer

























          2












          2








          2







          Behold! The Mighty Ellipses!




          The demon...she? he?...gestured towards the supply wagons.




          Ultimately, it's a matter of personal style. Dashes, parentheses, ellipses are all correct.



          Part of the reason I prefer ellipses here is, as Amadeus points out, the gender ponderings aren't really an interruption. It's an aside. The narrator's mind is wandering. Ellipses are great for that as they tend to indicate a pause in addition to a change of course.



          Dashes also work great for asides, but don't indicate the same level of pause. Note: use a full sized dash (aka a double or em dash) and not a hyphen. Hyphens have other purposes.



          Parentheses are okay, especially since you have the question marks to make it clear, but wouldn't be the choice that helps the reader with the flow and rhythm of the sentence.






          share|improve this answer













          Behold! The Mighty Ellipses!




          The demon...she? he?...gestured towards the supply wagons.




          Ultimately, it's a matter of personal style. Dashes, parentheses, ellipses are all correct.



          Part of the reason I prefer ellipses here is, as Amadeus points out, the gender ponderings aren't really an interruption. It's an aside. The narrator's mind is wandering. Ellipses are great for that as they tend to indicate a pause in addition to a change of course.



          Dashes also work great for asides, but don't indicate the same level of pause. Note: use a full sized dash (aka a double or em dash) and not a hyphen. Hyphens have other purposes.



          Parentheses are okay, especially since you have the question marks to make it clear, but wouldn't be the choice that helps the reader with the flow and rhythm of the sentence.







          share|improve this answer












          share|improve this answer



          share|improve this answer










          answered 59 mins ago









          CynCyn

          17.9k13883




          17.9k13883





















              0














              I use a double-dash, and specifically a double-dash (not an em dash), on both sides of the interruption.




              The demon -- he? she? -- gestured toward the supply wagons.




              Although in your example, the interruption doesn't make sense; it would not make sense to say "The demon she gestured toward the supply wagons."






              share|improve this answer



























                0














                I use a double-dash, and specifically a double-dash (not an em dash), on both sides of the interruption.




                The demon -- he? she? -- gestured toward the supply wagons.




                Although in your example, the interruption doesn't make sense; it would not make sense to say "The demon she gestured toward the supply wagons."






                share|improve this answer

























                  0












                  0








                  0







                  I use a double-dash, and specifically a double-dash (not an em dash), on both sides of the interruption.




                  The demon -- he? she? -- gestured toward the supply wagons.




                  Although in your example, the interruption doesn't make sense; it would not make sense to say "The demon she gestured toward the supply wagons."






                  share|improve this answer













                  I use a double-dash, and specifically a double-dash (not an em dash), on both sides of the interruption.




                  The demon -- he? she? -- gestured toward the supply wagons.




                  Although in your example, the interruption doesn't make sense; it would not make sense to say "The demon she gestured toward the supply wagons."







                  share|improve this answer












                  share|improve this answer



                  share|improve this answer










                  answered 1 hour ago









                  AmadeusAmadeus

                  58.8k676188




                  58.8k676188



























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